.:Monday, April 23, 2007:.

What the hell is a hardcooked egg?!?!?...


Hello everyone! I'm sorry that I haven't been keeping up with my posts in 10+ days. I've been extremely busy and haven't had much time to spare. I will try to keep up regular posts going forward.

Anyway, check out this label I found on the back of a Starbucks Egg Salad Sandwich...what the hell is a hardcooked egg?!?!? I think they just call it this so they can "justify" the price of $5.25 on the front of the package. You do the math.

If you find anything like this, please email me! I am always looking for suggestions!

.:Wednesday, April 11, 2007:.

Time is a factor of...


Think fast he says...easy for him to say!

( Courtesy of xkcd.com )

.:Tuesday, April 10, 2007:.

Favorite bumper stickers ( part 2 )...

Part 2 of a nearly infinite part series...

6. "Horn broken, watch for finger!"

7. "If you can read this, flip me over!"

8. "If you can read this, you're following too close!"

9. "Nader for President!" ( Okay, this one isn't necessarily funny in a direct kind of way, rather it's funny because he ran for president so many times. )

10. "Get in, sit down, shut up and hang on!"

.:Monday, April 9, 2007:.

Mazes...


Ahhh...a logic trap! All logicians beware! You will be stopped, searched and stabbed!

( Courtesy of xkcd.com )

.:Sunday, April 8, 2007:.

Math t-shirt...


I want to see this on a t-shirt! I think it would be extremely funny!

.:Saturday, April 7, 2007:.

Some questions to ponder...

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of Progress?

Why do they call it Military Intelligence?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

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P.S. Okay, I realize that yesterday's joke wasn't really at all that funny, I was just short on ideas, so I thought I might use a very old joke. Sorry if I disappointed you.

.:Friday, April 6, 2007:.

How to keep an fool busy ( see post )...

How to keep a fool busy ( see post )...

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HA HA! If you got this far, I may have already fooled you! Or maybe I haven't, in which case this was a stupid joke, but I got you to read this right?

.:Thursday, April 5, 2007:.

Favorite bumper stickers ( part 1 )...

This is part 1 of an almost infinite-part series of my favorite bumper stickers that I have seen in the past, or saw today. Note that the numbers do not signify a rank of the bumper stickers, rather just to keep track of how many I've written down.

1. "Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup."

2. "Shit happens."

3. "Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert for President!"

4. "I used up all my sick days so I called in dead."

5. "Got beer?"

.:Wednesday, April 4, 2007:.

Recursion and D&D...


Recursion and D&D don't mix...TRUST ME!

( Courtesy of xkcd.com )

.:Tuesday, April 3, 2007:.

Google announces free in-home wireless broadband service...

"Dark porcelain" project offers self-installed plumbing-based Internet access

MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif., April 1, 2007 - Google Inc. (NASDAQ: GOOG) today announced the launch of Google TiSP (BETA)™, a free in-home wireless broadband service that delivers online connectivity via users' plumbing systems. The Toilet Internet Service Provider (TiSP) project is a self-installed, ad-supported online service that will be offered entirely free to any consumer with a WiFi-capable PC and a toilet connected to a local municipal sewage system.

"We've got that whole organizing-the-world's-information thing more or less under control," said Google Co-founder and President Larry Page, a longtime supporter of so-called "dark porcelain" research and development. "What's interesting, though, is how many different modalities there are for actually getting that information to you - not to mention from you."

For years, data carriers have confronted the "last hundred yards" problem for delivering data from local networks into individual homes. Now Google has successfully devised a "last hundred smelly yards" solution that takes advantage of preexisting plumbing and sewage systems and their related hydraulic data-transmission capabilities. "There's actually a thriving little underground community that's been studying this exact solution for a long time," says Page. "And today our Toilet ISP team is pleased to be leading the way through the sewers, up out of your toilet and - splat - right onto your PC."

Users who sign up online for the TiSP system will receive a full home self-installation kit, which includes a spindle of fiber-optic cable, a TiSP wireless router, installation CD and setup guide. Home installation is a simple matter of GFlushing™ the fiber-optic cable down to the nearest TiSP Access Node, then plugging the other end into the network port of your Google-provided TiSP wireless router. Within sixty minutes, the Access Node's crack team of Plumbing Hardware Dispatchers (PHDs) should have your internet connection up and running.

"I couldn't be more excited about, and am only slightly grossed out by, this remarkable new product," said Marissa Mayer, Google's Vice President of Search Products and User Experience. "I firmly believe TiSP will be a breakthrough product, particularly for those users who, like Larry himself, do much of their best thinking in the bathroom."

Interested consumers, contractually obligated partners and deeply skeptical and quietly competitive backbiters can learn more about TiSP at http://www.google.com/tisp/install.html.

About Google Inc.
Google's innovative search technologies connect millions of people around the world with information every day. Founded in 1998 by Stanford Ph.D. wannabes Larry Page and Sergey Brin, Google today is a top web property in all major global markets. Google's targeted advertising program provides businesses of all sizes with measurable results, while enhancing the overall web experience for users. Google is headquartered in Silicon Valley with offices throughout the Americas, Europe and Asia. For more information, visit www.google.com.

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Media Contact:
Sunny Gettinger
Google Inc.
sunnyg@google.com
650-253-4713

APRIL FOOLS!!!!!

Allright, I know it's a little late, but I just heard about this today and thought it was absolutly hilarious!!!

( Courtesy of google.com )

.:Monday, April 2, 2007:.

Examples of vague signs...

Sign in a laundromat:
Automatic washing machines: please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

In a dress shop window:
Don't stand outside and faint - come in and have a fit.

Sign in a London department store:
Bargain basement upstairs.

On a church door:
This is the gate of Heaven. Enter Ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side door.)

Outside a secondhand shop:
We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?

In a restaurant:
Customers who find our waiting staff rude should see the manager.

Seen outside a travel agency:
Why don't you go away?

Spotted in a garden center:
Up these steps for the sunken garden.

Notice in the window of a fabric shop:
Repairs and alterations done here. Dying arranged.

Sign outside pet shop:
No dogs allowed.

Message on a leaflet:
If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.

.:Sunday, April 1, 2007:.

The difference between normal people and scientists...


How could you choose avoiding a little pain over understanding a magic lightning machine?

( Courtesy of xkcd.com )