Examples of vague signs...

Sign in a laundromat:
Automatic washing machines: please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

In a dress shop window:
Don't stand outside and faint - come in and have a fit.

Sign in a London department store:
Bargain basement upstairs.

On a church door:
This is the gate of Heaven. Enter Ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side door.)

Outside a secondhand shop:
We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?

In a restaurant:
Customers who find our waiting staff rude should see the manager.

Seen outside a travel agency:
Why don't you go away?

Spotted in a garden center:
Up these steps for the sunken garden.

Notice in the window of a fabric shop:
Repairs and alterations done here. Dying arranged.

Sign outside pet shop:
No dogs allowed.

Message on a leaflet:
If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.